Lumpy Life

The first week of Summer University is over! The weeks flew by and no I'm finding myself waiting for Monday to come around, just so I can go back up to the University and see everyone again. After 3 years out of education I forgot how much I actually enjoy learning, my days feel like they have purpose again and less like I'm floating around aimlessly. I have priorities and organisation in my days again, I'm not longer bored and wondering around thinking of ways to prolong the things I do, so I don't have to sit down and do nothing all day. I have assignments and essays to write, along with blossoming friendships with people I met this week.  It's been such a long time since I've felt like my future has any prospects further than sitting in my bed all day, but now I feel like there is hope for my future again. After one week at the University it has made me certain that this is the University I want to attend in September, not only has it solidified in my mind

A lot contributes to change, some factors we can control and others occur as they please. Various different things have changed since I've moved, I'm not battling with my anxieties and paranoia of starting Summer University next week; I'm scared to meet people, I'm nervous of the workload and more than anything I'm terrified that I'm going to go into episode, and mess everything up again. I know that a lot of my worries are the same for the majority, meeting new people and doing things that you've never done before can be daunting to anyone, and more often than not within five minutes of pushing out of your comfort zone, you actually become comfortable in your new surroundings. I also know that me going into episode, and when it happens I have no control over, sometimes I can prolong my awake periods but that's not always the case.  I try not to let my illness hold me back in life, I've come to terms with the fact that I have no control over it, an